The feeling of restlessness is a hard one to deal with. It stems from a lack of contentment. I feel that in my current situation I am restless. I would argue that I am content with my life, but I would have to remind myself that if that was the case then I wouldn’t be so restless. after the divorce I moved to royal oak, a city I have always wanted to live in. I started over new and I rented a house by a beautiful park. I got the house set up with my furniture, I bought a hot tub and a hammock and patio furniture for the backyard. I even set up a fire pit. I had lots of gatherings at my place and entertained often. I settled in to the new life and got myself emotionally healthy again.  It is coming close to the time that my one year rental contract at this house is up. My mind is racing with decisions. I went back and forth on whether I should renew the contract and stay at the house another year, but the idea of a contract scares me.

The offer then came up by a travel nursing company for me to go to Hawaii or California to work for three month contracts. It was very appealing. I would make twice as much as what i am making now and all of my living expenses would have been paid. it sounded like a wonderful offer and it would be less stress on my end. I tossed the idea around for a while. I don’t exactly have roots here. I have a great job and a great church and also great friends, although I have learned that all of these things are still temporary and not irreplaceable. I turned down the offer because I feel committed to the hospital I work at currently and I am not ready to leave there. The idea is still in the back of my mind though, it is a great opportunity to do travel nursing, especially in my position with no settled roots here. There are many factors that go into the process and there are so many options. It is exciting to think about the opportunities but it is scary to think that I may not make the right one. I am learning that I am the author of my life now, I don’t have anybody to turn to to speak the right answers to me. I have talked to many different people about the life choices and opportunities and they all give different opinions. The key is understanding that they are all opinions. I have come to realize that I get to make the final decision, and the outcome lies withing my hands. No decision can be a wrong one. sometimes the key is to find contentment. I think that is what I need to focus on now…contentment…sometimes the best decision is no decision….finding comfort in the current situation as it is.  Phillipians 4:11 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, to be content.”

2 thoughts on “Restless…

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