After a month and a half of being low and spiritually depressed (Mostly by my own doing), God has led me to a light at the end of this tunnel… I see the purpose.
There is good and there is best. Sometimes, I don’t even have the good in mind, let alone the best. Lately, I’ve been wondering if I have some or most of this wrong… this walk with Christ. Certain things that I think I should feel or go through, is that really what ought to happen? Take God’s love for me, and mine for Him: I don’t want an emotion anymore, a high, I want knowledge. I want to be confident that I am loved by Him (Perhaps some emotion will flow from that, but knowledge, to me, is the foundation). What does that feel like though? Does it really feel like what I think it should feel like? How much do I look at my walk with Jesus through tainted eyes and a tainted mind?
Jesus asks the Pharisees a question after quite a few questions by them… “What do you think about the Christ, whose son is He?” (Matt 22:42a). The Pharisees answer, “The son of David” (Matt 22:42b). Listen to this, “He said to them, ‘Then how does David in the Spirit call Him ‘Lord’…If David then calls Him ‘Lord’, how is He his son?” (Matt 22:43, 45). The Pharisees had in mind what was good (Good for them, of course… and even Isreal to a certain degree), not what was best.
Earthly vs Eternal… that’s what it comes down to in the realm of what our mindset ought to be. The Pharisees had a very earthly idea of the Messiah: Free us from Rome, set us (The Pharisees) in a place of honor, rule the world. The Father has a much different idea of the Messiah: Live among them, be reject by them, die for them. His mindset is eternal; caring much more about the soul than the body.
I know that God is calling me to a total change of mindset. I look at what I do and know that, more often than not, I have myself in mind… my wants, my pleasures, my feelings. I find that I disguise this into a genuine pursuit of Christ. I don’t want to pursue what my idea of Christ is, I want to pursue CHRIST! I don’t want to go through a journey that I think is acceptable, I want to go through the journey that Christ deems worthy. What a subtle deceit this is! I pray that you examine this within yourself as well. It is a hard thing to realize, and an even harder thing to see, but I am confident that God will give us the eyes to see.
Something is not right in me… Do I really have this “thing” right?